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NGL, back when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was afraid to have sex with my husband. Questions like, “Will sexual intercourse harm my baby?” or worse, “Can sex cause miscarriage?” ran through my mind day in and day out. We had spent years trying to conceive, so the last thing I wanted was to jeopardize this precious pregnancy. But since delivering my healthy baby girl, I learned I wasn’t alone in my fears. It’s quite common to experience sex hesitancy while expecting.
The good news is that most of my anxieties were completely unfounded. Jessica Ryniec, M.D., a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist at CCRM Fertility in Boston, confirms to Rescripted that sex does not cause miscarriage. You may be advised to abstain from sexual intercourse for the duration of your pregnancy, however, if your healthcare provider determines certain pregnancy complications or risk factors.
While miscarriage is usually the result of genetic abnormalities beyond our control, mixing sex and pregnancy remains a very real worry among many couples. To ease those concerns, Rescripted spoke to Dr. Ryniec at length about the safety of sexual intercourse, and to help us better understand why, in some cases, it may be necessary for pregnant couples to avoid sex – at least temporarily.
Can sex lead to a miscarriage?
In a word, no. “The majority of pregnancy losses are caused by genetic abnormalities of the embryo leading to the pregnancy not developing properly,” explains Dr. Ryniec. “Intercourse or orgasm would not influence this outcome.” Plus, “the pregnancy is physically protected by the amniotic fluid, uterine muscles, and cervix,” she says.
So if there’s no physical risk to the pregnancy, why are so many of us scared that intercourse poses a danger to the fetus? The myth that sex could cause pregnancy loss likely developed due to “anatomic plausibility,” says Dr. Ryniec. Meaning, since the uterus and cervix are at the top of the vagina, some people may believe that having intercourse in such proximity to the fetus could cause damage. Certain similar symptoms don’t help bust the sex-causing-miscarriage myth either: Dr. Ryniec mentions that “sex during pregnancy can cause spotting or cramping” – two symptoms that are also associated with miscarriage. It may just be a natural reaction for couples to point fingers at sex for their pregnancy loss because they need somewhere to put their blame. “People who experience a miscarriage (which is common) are more likely to look back and note that they had sex and consider it to be linked,” says Dr. Ryniec.
Pregnancy complications and risk factors
Even though “there’s no evidence that sex during pregnancy causes miscarriage,” Dr. Ryniec does acknowledge that there are some instances where healthcare providers will advise against sexual intercourse in pregnancy. These pregnancy complications or risk factors include “when there is bleeding or pain, or later in pregnancy if there is a short cervix or concern for cervical insufficiency or especially when the placenta is covering the cervix (aka placenta previa),” she says. Other potential complications that could warrant abstaining from sexual intercourse are “if there is a pregnancy of unknown location and there is a possibility of ectopic pregnancy, and if someone is diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma.”
Avoiding sex in these particular cases can help prevent premature birth or pregnancy loss.
But you know what’s not a risk factor? Recurrent pregnancy loss. Even if you’ve suffered a miscarriage (or multiple miscarriages) in the past, Dr. Ryniec confirms that sex while pregnant is still perfectly safe.
The best way to assuage your fears about sex during pregnancy is to check in with your physician. You should be good to go as long as you don’t have any of the aforementioned potential complications or risk factors.
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Embracing pregnancy sex safely
Unless your physician has cautioned you against sexual intercourse for medical reasons, “sex in an uncomplicated pregnancy is safe (if you want to have it!) and can be enjoyed,” assures Dr. Ryniec.
If you’re not in the mood to have sex while pregnant (and not everyone is!), that’s totally okay. But if you want to get frisky with your partner, and you’ve been given the all-clear, you’ll likely find that there are several benefits to being physically intimate during pregnancy. Make sure you listen to your body, though, and change positions as needed for maximum comfort.
For those who have experienced miscarriage, it’s completely understandable if you’re wary of engaging in sex while pregnant: “It’s easy to look back and find reasons to blame something you did when a pregnancy loss occurs,” says Dr. Ryniec. “But in reality, we have very good evidence behind the actual causes for most miscarriages which is abnormal genetics for the embryo/fetus and is not your fault.”
To help put things in perspective, she offers this astute observation: “When you think about it, if sex caused miscarriages, miscarriages would likely be even more common than they are.”
Sarene Leeds holds an M.S. in Professional Writing from NYU, and is a seasoned journalist, having written and reported on subjects ranging from TV and pop culture to health, wellness, and parenting over the course of her career. Her work has appeared in Rolling Stone, The Wall Street Journal, Vulture, SheKnows, and numerous other outlets. A staunch mental health advocate, Sarene also hosts the podcast “Emotional Abuse Is Real.” Subscribe to her Substack, the Critical Communicator, and follow her on Instagram, BlueSky, or Threads.
