I Am Large; I Contain Multitudes

This week, I went on my first business trip in two years (I was pregnant and had a baby, so there’s that). Historically, I’ve been one of those type B travelers who snoozes her alarm and cuts it way too close at the airport. I know some of you are already cringing — and yes, that includes my husband, who believes one should arrive at JFK approximately seven hours before takeoff.

But this time was different. Maybe it was the anxiety of leaving all three kids at home for the first time, but I was up before my 4:50 a.m. alarm, fully dressed, and through security with time to spare. I even had Starbucks in hand before the sun came up. Who was this person?

That question lingered all week. At the conference, I found myself toggling between two versions of me: the confident co-founder who loves connecting with people, and the quieter one who sneaks back to the hotel room for a breather before the next event. Both felt true.

On the flight home, I listened to Amy Poehler’s podcast with Kate McKinnon, who now lives on a quiet rural property, gardens, has taken up woodwork, and prefers small circles to big crowds. I thought, “One of my all-time favorite SNL cast members, a homebody?” And somehow, it made perfect sense.

It reminded me of Walt Whitman’s line, “I am large; I contain multitudes.” Lately, that feels truer than ever. Despite what our Myers-Briggs results or horoscopes might tell us, this season of life is teaching me that we don’t have to pick just one version of ourselves.

Life isn’t meant to be predictable, and maybe that’s the part that makes it worth paying attention to.

Ask Clara: Why is laughter good for the soul?