The Rage-y Middle-Aged Woman Trope Has Got to Go

Can we talk about the perimenopause storyline in Your Friends & Neighbors?

For those of you who don't watch the show: Jon Hamm plays a disgraced hedge fund manager who starts robbing his wealthy Westchester neighbors to maintain his lifestyle. Amanda Peet plays Mel, his ex-wife, a therapist who, by season two, has been fired, dumped, and completely iced out of her friend group, all more or less at once. It's a lot. The show is great.

Was Mel the most likable character in season one? Not necessarily. But this feels like they couldn't figure out what else to do with her in season two, so they said: let's make her a rage-y middle-aged woman with hot flashes.

And here's the thing — it's not that far from the truth of it. Waking up in drenched sheets. The mood that arrives before you even realize it has. Maybe a little vaginal atrophy nobody talks about but apparently Apple TV will. The writers clearly did their research. But it still feels a little forced, like perimenopause is doing the narrative heavy lifting instead of Mel actually getting a storyline.

There's a difference between a show that portrays perimenopause accurately and one that uses it to explain why a woman is difficult. The symptoms can be right and the framing still be off. And I think that's what's nagging at me — because when it's done well, you feel seen. When it's not, you just feel like a punchline with night sweats.

Women going through perimenopause deserve better writing. Even, especially, when the writing is better than usual.