What We Get Wrong About Teen Pregnancy

Curling up with The Girls Who Grew Big, I thought it would be the kind of novel you unwind with at the end of the day. By page twenty, I was already thinking, Oh right… we were never actually taught any of this. Not in a way that made sense for real girls with real bodies in real situations. What I assumed would be a simple coming-of-age story turned into a far more honest conversation about teen pregnancy — one we should’ve had years ago.

And definitely not the version of sex ed many of us grew up with, where the message was basically: “If you have sex, you will get pregnant… and die.” That old script trained us to see teen pregnancy as a moral failure instead of a human experience. This book does the opposite. It refuses to flatten these girls into cautionary tales.

What it captures so beautifully is that complicated in-between space: when a girl is still very much a girl, yet suddenly expected to carry adult responsibilities (and consequences). As I read, I kept thinking about how unprepared most of us were for our own bodies at that age. Fear was handed to us instead of education. Judgment showed up long before support ever did.

So is it any surprise that teen pregnancy still carries such heavy stigma? We shame girls for outcomes we never equipped them to navigate. We expect them to protect themselves without giving them the language, context, or confidence to do so, and then act shocked when they’re left piecing together adulthood in the dark.

And honestly? Rescripted’s State of Sex Ed Report backs that up. Only 35% of women said sex ed helped them understand the menstrual cycle and pregnancy prevention. We weren’t misremembering; we were undereducated.

What moved me most in The Girls Who Grew Big were the moments the girls start recognizing their own bigness: the emotional, brave, terrifying kind that arrives way too early. Watching them navigate friendships, family expectations, the healthcare system, and the fragile hope that they’re still allowed to dream is heartbreaking... and profoundly hopeful.

Girlhood doesn’t end the moment a pregnancy test turns positive. Pregnant teens are just as deserving of compassion, options, and possibilities as any other young person still learning who they are and who they hope to become.