Zara Hanawalt
Stop whispering, start talking: sharp, sassy takes on life in a female body.
Is Influencer Hate Rooted in Misogyny? Let's Unpack the Discourse
By now, you've all seen shots of the viral "NO INFLUENCERS" sign that was put up in a Nantucket shop.
Of course, the sign has elicited a lot of backlash. Some feel it's discriminatory, and yeah, you can't ban someone based on their occupation from entering a store. What you can ban, in my opinion, is influencer-y behavior: Taking photos of everything, filming interactions, getting people who may not consent to being on camera in your shots, holding up traffic...things like that.
But here's what many people are latching on to in this discourse around this particular sign, as well as the general societal taste for influencers: It all feels rooted in misogyny.
Influencing is, after all, practically the only female-dominated industry. It represents a way for women to make serious money, and it affords them the flexibility that is missing from the corporate world, which makes it an especially attractive path for moms.
So when people say that influencer hate feels sexist, I get it.
I do think there's some inherent discomfort with an industry in which women run the show — a world in which women both drive the attention economy and the actual economy. Influencing is a career path that actually works for the lives most women lead. And the flexibility, the community, the creativity...those are all things women tend to really value, the things we've been conditioned to pursue.
But as with most issues, this is nuanced. The reality is, social media drives, or at least accelerates, some really problematic things: Comparison, unrealistic beauty standards, warped lifestyle expectations, dangerous messages about womanhood and femininity, and rampant consumerism, to name a few. Influencers didn't create those problems, but some (maybe even many) of them profit off of feeding into them. Sometimes subliminally, sometimes overtly.
That's what makes all this so complicated. Because, yeah. Influencing as a viable, lucrative career path has made life a lot better for so many women, and that's worth celebrating. But also, it has made things more stressful, complicated, and fraught with insecurity for many women too..and that's worth critiquing.
Ask Clara:
"What is the wage gap?"
Is it Time to Start Talking About Women's Bodies?
There's a very famous woman who has been making major waves recently...and I can't help but reflect on what a complicated issue this truly is.
A few years ago, we started to finally discuss how women's bodies should not be up for discussion. Commenting on someone's size, weight, etc...that was (rightfully) viewed as problematic.
We needed this cultural reset because quite frankly, commentary about women's bodies absolutely needed to be checked.
But right now, in a world of Ozempic and Skinnytok, a world in which I am currently raising two young, impressionable kids...well, I wonder if maybe it's time to talk about bodies after all.
The celebrity in question is alarmingly thin. Thin to the point that it's hard to look at her and not feel concerned. And concern is truly what seems to be at the root of all the commentary.
It's worth noting too that this particular star is wildly popular among kids and teens. They view her as an icon. As a mother, I think a lot about how her size, which was tiny to begin with and is noticeably shrinking, will affect a whole generation of kids who are already growing up against a backdrop of dangerous messaging around size and weight. I've also heard eating disorder survivors talking about how triggering her rapidly shrinking frame is. All this is worth considering.
But it's also worth considering that women are constantly held to this standard of being role models and that's not quite fair. That ultimately, our concern for this woman, valid as it may be, is wildly parasocial. We don't know her or have insight into her current health, at the end of the day.
So is now the right time to be talking about women's bodies? I really don't know. But I do worry that there's a fundamental mismatch at play right now: We've vowed to stop talking about women's bodies...but does that really work in this current cultural climate?
The Baby-Sitter's Club Just Turned 40. What Better Time to Reflect on What this Series Did for Millennial Women?
The Baby-Sitters Club recently turned 40, and when I heard this news, I found myself reflecting on how much this series meant to me…and how ahead of its time it truly was.
Many millennial women will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that this series shaped so many of my early ideas about friendship, passion, ambition, and just…girlhood.
For the uninitiated, The Baby-Sitter’s Club is a book series about a group of teen girls who band together to form a club that offers baby-sitting services within their community (as the title suggests!).
They call it a club, but it’s really a whole business: They have positions, meetings, policies, and more. And they earn money, which is something we rarely show young girls caring about, especially in media from the '80s.
This book series — which also spawned a TV show, a movie, and a modernized TV reboot — put girls in the driver’s seat. It also featured diversity. As a daughter of Asian immigrant parents, I never felt truly represented until this series featured Claudia Kishi. Like me, she didn’t fit the stereotype…and reading about another Asian girl who hated math and loved art made me feel so seen.
There was also Stacey McGill, the glamorous math whiz character who had type 1 diabetes and helped so many other young girls with similar diseases feel less like…well, freaks.
There was so much to love about this franchise, especially for what it did for a generation of girls who lost themselves in this fictional world. So many of us millennial women first learned about entrepreneurship from The Baby-Sitter’s Club. We learned that friendships could contain friction and envy and weather ups and downs…yet it managed to teach us these lessons without leaning into the petty drama or frenemy tropes that characterized so much millennial media.
This franchise showed us examples of girls just…going after the things they wanted. That mattered then, and 40 years later, it still matters.
Ask Clara:
"Why is representation so important?"
So Now We’re Supposed to Eat…Less Protein to Slow Aging?
On social media, in headlines, in IRL conversations…the push for protein-ifying everything is real. Particularly for women of a certain age, the constant reminders that you’re probably not hitting your protein goal every single day can feel inescapable.
But recent news has suggests something different. You’ve probably seen headlines about how eating less protein could slow aging, according to a new study. Let’s unpack it.
A review of 350 studies on protein restriction and aging points to some benefits associated with eating less protein. The research is published in Cell Press Blue.
Don’t take this as a sign to ditch the protein goal (if you have one!), though. The study’s authors acknowledge that there are very real benefits of eating plenty of protein, especially for people who exercise. "But because most people are relatively sedentary, many people are likely consuming more protein than they actually need, which probably has negative health consequences,” says researcher Dudley Lamming, according to an abstract for this news.
Studies conducted in flies and rodents have shown a connection between eating less protein and living longer, even without reducing calorie intake — but of course, animal studies don’t always hold up in humans. With that being said, human trials have shown similar results, with adults losing weight and showing improvements in blood sugar.
On the flip side, as the researchers concede, protein has also been linked with weight loss and muscle preservation.
So what are we supposed to do with these findings? Honestly, I think…not much. If you have questions about the best approach for you, a chat with a dietician could be a great move. As the study points out, different people have different protein needs.
But if you’re a young, active person? Reducing your intake may not be the move just yet.
Ask Clara:
"How much protein should I be eating?"
Get in, Babe, We're Reclaiming the Term 'Chic' With the 'Kinda Chic' Trend
Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved fashion and clothes and shopping. I used my outfits as a vehicle for self-expression. I didn't take it too seriously, I tried new things, and most of all, I had fun with it.
But is it just me, or has personal style become way less fun?
With the trend cycle moving at the speed of light and social media creators dictating what they find "incredibly chic" and what gives them the "fashion ick"...well, it just feels like it's impossible to hold on to what we truly like and what we're told we should like (or dislike).
Ultimately, we want to dress to our preferences, but we also want to be viewed as "chic", right? But that word has taken on such a loaded meaning. It's no longer about having your own style, it's about jumping on every trend and immediately discarding things once they fall out of vogue, which happens incredibly fast thanks to social media. And it's about making people feel like they're not good enough if they can't keep up.
Now, a recent trend is flipping that on its head.
The "kinda chic" trend on social media is the refreshing changeup we need. People are posting things that feel "kinda chic", but in a tongue-in-cheek way.
Instead of, say, "white button-downs and quiet luxury", they're reclaiming the meaning of the word by highlighting things that make women feel better about themselves, not worse.
For example, people are saying things like "kinda chic to stop referring to it as 'my little job' and start referring to it as 'my career'" or "kinda chic to not GAF what people think".
The discourse around what is chic and what isn't is starting to become...almost tyrannical? That's probably a dramatic way to put it, but the constant policing of what we can wear and when we can wear it and how we can wear it feels exhausting. And stressful.
This particular trend, though? It's all about something different.
It's about claiming the things that make us feel better, that make us tune into our own values and tastes and preferences, as chic. And I'm here for it.
Kinda chic to take back a word that has become a source of stress and feelings of inadequacy for so many women.
Whitney Port Just Wants to 'Wrap Up' Her Fertility Journey. I Totally Get Why.
I gave birth to my twins a little over two years after I started trying to conceive. Compared to what so many infertility warriors go through, that's nothing. A year-and-a-half of trying to conceive, one miscarriage, a few rounds of tests, one successful round of IUI, and one very complicated twin pregnancy — my story wasn't without struggle, but it is short and sweet compared to what so many families endure.
Still, it felt like an eternity when I was actually in it.
That's why, when I saw Whitney Port's recent (and incredibly candid) comments about her own fertility journey, I understood immediately.
Port has really been through it. She had her son nine years ago and has since dealt with secondary infertility, with multiple losses along the way. Port has had miscarriages, both personally and via surrogacy. And now, she's decided to end her surrogacy journey and try and carry a pregnancy again.
"The whole thing has just gotten so difficult that I finally decided that I want to check out how I look physically and see if carrying is something that I can actually do on my own,” Port said on an episode of her podcast. “If I look OK to carry and the doctors think it’s safe, we’re going to give it a try. Do I particularly want to be pregnant? Not really. I wish I had a more beautiful and inspiring answer…I did not love being pregnant. What I want is to wrap this up, I want a second child.”
Honestly? I think her admission is really brave...and very relatable. When it comes to building a family, sometimes there are just so many questions, choices, and uncertainties to manage. You want the end result, that beautiful baby who will make it feel so worth it, but while you're working towards that? It's just exhausting.
I'm sure a lot of people will not quite understand what Port is saying here. But I get it. You just don't know what will work and what will unfold down the line...and you just want to figure it out and just be done.
This has been a many years long process for Port and she has faced so many ups and downs. She uses the word "vessel" to describe herself, and while a lot of people will probably side eye that moment, I think it just speaks volumes about this piece of the infertility experience: You feel so disconnected from your body, so continuously let down by your own inability to control the situation, you start to view it in this strange, clinical way.
It's something you truly can't understand unless you've experienced a piece of what Port is working through, and if you can relate, this episode will probably make you feel very seen.
Ask Clara:
"Why might somebody turn to surrogacy?"
Does the 'No Ethical Billionaires' Argument Extend to Women?
We've all heard the phrase "there are no ethical billionaires". And listen, I think it's a valid one. We live in a world with incredible wealth inequality, and it's simply not right that some people have billions while so many can't afford food, shelter, or basic necessities.
But in my mind, a billion dollars isn't some magical threshold that crosses someone from ethical to unethical. It's impossible to compare someone like Taylor Swift or Beyonce — women who made their fortunes on their art, then elevated themselves to billionaire status by making incredible business decisions around said art — to someone who has made their fortune by creating monopolies that put so many others out of business.
Recently, a man I know, someone who understands these systems far better than I do, said something that stuck with me:
"I'm okay with billionaires if they're women."
When Melindas French Gates's company, Pivotal, announced a major investment in women's health (a $215 million investment, to be exact), something clicked for me: This is what this person meant when he made that comment. Women's health and other issues have been historically underfunded, and we've seen the consequences of that play out in so many different ways.
As always, nothing changes for women unless women step in and change it. It's not enough to point out that women's health initiatives are underfunded, it's important to talk about why. It's because women are still working to catch up in a system that has for so long denied them any type of economic power. When women gain that power? That's when things start to shift.
The wealth gap would persist even if women were the only billionaires. The argument that no person should have a billon dollars when globally, so many people live in abject poverty, is very much a valid one. But when women have this kind of money and power? It certainly does seem to be wielded differently.
Should anyone have a billion dollars? No, not while so many people are literally starving.
But maybe, if women are the ones with the resources (even if those resources are in total excess), maybe those gaps will start to be filled...and maybe other issues will begin to be addressed, finally.
Ask Clara:
"Why is women's health so underfunded? "
'The Ultimatum' and the Sheer Dehumanization of Women
There's one thing I'll never apologize for, and that's my love of reality TV.
Aside from the fact that I believe women should get to enjoy the things they enjoy without guilt, I also think reality TV serves a purpose beyond enjoyment: It gives us a window into what's happening out in the world. It gives me a way to understand cultural trends, dating dynamics, and human behavior, especially where issues like gender are concerned.
And let's just say that if what I'm seeing play out on this season of The Ultimatum is any indication...well, the state of women and how they're treated out in the world is...concerning.
Quick note for those who don't know what this show is: It's a Netflix reality romance show about couples who are on the verge of breaking up as one person wants to get married and is issuing the other an ultimatum. The couples are put in "trial marriages" with members of other couples to test their original connections. It's all very, very messy.
The amount of dehumanization of women that's happening on this season is just...staggering.
There's a man who openly speaks about how his mom does "everything" for him and how his wife needs to be his "new mom" (ick). Another man talks about liking his women to be more "submissive" (he also doesn't believe they should have male friends if they're in relationships). Another compares his longtime girlfriend to a car, then expresses that he'd like to see what's like to be in a different type of car (ew).
But perhaps the most egregious dehumanization comes from yet another man on the show. I won't spoil it if you haven't watched the most recent season yet, but let's just it there are some serious threats of sexual violence made about one of the female cast members. They're framed as "jokes", but this is not the type of thing anyone should ever joke about...and the fact that this is happening on our screens is more than just infuriating. It's really, really scary.
There are so many factors out in the world, from rising ideas about gender essentialism to the very real red pill-ing that's happening IRL and on platforms. One contestant even brushes off these sexually violent comments as "locker room" talk...but let's think about who else has used that excuse (and what it tells men about what is acceptable when we elevate the men who make those comments).
It's all connected. What we see on our screens, what is happening on a larger level, and what it all means about the state of womanhood in our world today.
And let's just say...I don't feel great about any of it right now. At all.
Ask Clara:
"What does it mean to dehumanize women?"
Why Millennial Women Are Suddenly So Obsessed With the Midlife Crisis
I co-host a podcast called The Millennial Sandwich, and when we polled our audience to learn what they want to want to hear two almost 40 ladies yap about, the answer was clear: The millennial midlife crisis.
We gave the people what they want, and we quickly realized that this particular issue is top of mind for so many of our fellow millennial women.
For so long, we've been sold this idea about middle age. Men turn 50-ish, buy a hot little car, have an affair with much a younger woman...essentially upend their entire life as they face their own mortality.
Women, on the other hand? They become invisible in midlife, according to the narratives we've been handed. They disappear into the background of their own lives. But if there is one thing I know about millennial women, it's this: We won't retreat into the shadows without a fight. And thanks in part to social media and other digital platforms, we don't have to. We get to control the narrative and steer the conversation on these platforms.
And we get to put a new narrative about the much-discussed midlife crisis in place...and maybe we even get to give the entire concept the full rebrand it deserves.
Because maybe it isn't a crisis at all. Maybe it's a pivot. A moment of reinvention. An era that is less about falling apart and more about redirecting. (But also...maybe it's perimenopause?)
I'm seeing so many women, both online and IRL, who are rethinking so many pieces of their lives, perhaps most notably, career. They're giving themselves permission to do less, to invest more in their relationships, to think more about their overall health as opposed to just how they look.
We're setting the stage for the rest of our lives. We're confronting our imperfect relationships to burnout and hustle and beauty standards and guilt and pressure. So call it a midlife crisis if you want...but I have a feeling we're going to emerge from this moment better than ever.
Ask Clara:
"What is a midlife crisis?"
The Case for Getting More Sleep
Women have long been left out of the conversation around heart disease thanks to its stereotype (as an issue that affects middle-aged men almost exclusively). But heart disease is a major issue for women too, despite this cultural perception: According to the CDC, it is the leading cause of death among women in the United States.
We've needed more answers about how exactly heart disease affects and kills women. We know that generally speaking, heart disease risk factors are both genetic and related to lifestyle, and we talk about both of those things in the context of men's health. But we don't give women nearly enough guidance on how to reduce their risks.
Yes, we have some guidelines — exercise often, eat well, avoid smoking — but here's something we don't often consider when we think about cardiovascular disease risk: Sleep.
Women's Health recently shed light on the relationship between these two factors, citing research from the Menopause journal that involved the study of 3,000 women. Sleep ended up being the biggest predictor of cardiovascular disease risk.
This seems especially true among midlife women. The experts interviewed for this coverage point to increased inflammation, high blood pressure, and obesity in connection to these findings.
Here's what is so complicated: Show me a midlife woman and I'll show a person who is under-rested. At this phase of life, so many of us are juggling enormous loads: Kids, parents, home, marriage, community, demanding careers...and even if we make time for enough sleep, often we can't fully shut down. As we know, sleep disturbances are particularly common in middle age.
So what do we do? I...don't know. I guess, for starters, we start to take sleep seriously. This research shows us how truly important it is.
Finding routines that help us wind down, investing in comfortable bedding, finally setting those boundaries around shutting down the phone and turning out the lights...all these things can help.
Ask Clara:
"Why do so many women struggle with sleep?"